Author Archives: rootleafandflower

I don’t know about you, but I have a tendency to compare… and then despair.  Terrible.  I know I shouldn’t do it.   I’ve got no idea what that apparently successful and happy person’s life is really like.  Or what they went through to get there or where they might be going.  I’m comparing their outsides to my insides.  Apples and oranges.  And really, so what if they are happy and successful (and younger) than I am?  It has absolutely nothing to do with me or what my life is.  I know this is true but I still do it.  So I’m grateful to Therese Borchard of the Beyond Blue blog for something she posted the other day.  I am re-posting it here.  If it speaks to you, maybe makes you cry just a little, pass it on.

The Fern and the Bamboo

One day I decided to quit…I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality…. I wanted to quit my life. I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.

“God”, I said. “Can you give me one good reason not to quit?”

His answer surprised me.

“Look around”, He said. “Do you see the fern and the bamboo?”

“Yes”, I replied.

“When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them. I gave them light. I gave them water. The fern quickly grew from the earth. Its brilliant green covered the floor. Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.

“In the second year the fern grew more vibrant and plentiful. And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.

“In year three there was still nothing from the bamboo seed. But I would not quit. The same in year four.

“Then in the fifth year, a tiny sprout emerged from the earth.

Compared to the fern, it was seemingly small and insignificant.

But just six months later, the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall.

It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive. I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle.

“Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots? I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you.

“Don’t compare yourself to others.” He said. “The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern. Yet they both make the forest beautiful.

“Your time will come”, God said to me. “You will rise high.”

“How high should I rise?” I asked.

“How high will the bamboo rise?” He asked in return.

“As high as it can?” I questioned.

“Yes.” He said, “Give me glory by rising as high as you can.”

I left the forest, realizing that God will never give up on me. And He will never give up on you.

Never regret a day in your life.

Good days give you happiness; bad days give you experiences; both are essential to life.

–Author Unknown

I may be addicted to TED.  I do not consider this a bad thing.  On the contrary.   I go to the site and sort in various ways until I find something I haven’t heard before that sounds interesting.  Invariably it is just what I need to hear at that moment.  Today I listened to two talks.  They occurred at two different TED events but they are related.

First is this one.  And then I listened to this one.  Now I feel great.  It’s not that I haven’t heard these ideas before but sometimes I need to hear the same thing several times, said in different ways by different people, before it really sinks in to my mind.  As for applying the information, that is often an effort of will.  Repeatedly.  And again. But each time I do it, it becomes just a smidgen easier than the time before.  One day, it might even be completely automatic (I can’t wait for that moment.  Just thinking of it makes me feel beatific.)  Listening to TED talks or reading books or getting out into the park helps a lot.  My advice to you, seek out the positive.  Actively look for good in events and people.  Fill your perception with goodness and beauty every day.

Kind of an oxymoron.  We introverts do not join up so easily.  But it seems we are finally getting our 15 minutes.  There’s a whole bunch of books out there now that focus on introverts, including Quiet by Susan Cain.  She’s also got a talk on TED.  It turns out there are more of us out there than we knew.  My hope is that all this attention and discussion will lead to greater understanding and greater tolerance for our differences.

I don’t know about you, but I have always felt a little bad that I am not good at small talk, that I can’t start up conversations and make friends easily.  I find it all soooo draining.  I avoid my building’s Holiday Party like the plague and duck out of various other events as soon as I possibly can.  When someone addresses me on the subway I respond in mono-syllables.  Can’t they see I’m trying to read my book?

But they don’t see.  It’s rather like a slightly crooked picture on the wall or a typo in a page of text.  To some of us it is just glaring.  We must go over there and straighten it.  Then there are others who don’t even see it.  Really don’t see it.  I do have a hard time imagining what that is like just as I have a hard time imagining what it must be like to adore chit chat and large crowds.

I wouldn’t be surprised if some wars in the past were started by an introvert and an extrovert being inadvertently insulted by each other.  Seeing things from another’s point of view is an effort and a practice but one that I think is well worth doing.  If we are to create a sustainable future for ourselves we are going to have to be creative and active. We will need all the different skills that are out there.  We must value ourselves and each other, value our differences as much as our commonalities.  My practice is to pay attention, try to determine how someone else sees things, how that person would like to be treated.  Does she want me to talk to her, inquire into her day?  Or does he want me to just say a quick hello and then leave him be?  I’m not trying to change who I am, to become an extrovert around other extroverts, but I am trying to honor their needs.  I have confidence that if we approach others in this way it will spread.  Be the change that you want to see.

Quiet little signs of spring

The most difficult thing about this time of year is how monochromatic it can seem.  The trees are still pretty much bare and the ground is still covered in brown leaves.  The starkness of winter has its own beauty but now that spring has come around I am impatient for more color.  Fortunately, the universe provides.

Today is Candlemas, a.k.a. Imbolc (Imbolc actually starts at sunset on February 1).  In days gone by (and in the modern pagan community) this day is considered the first day of spring.  And really, it makes perfect sense.  The days are noticeably longer and buds are appearing on trees and peeking out of the ground.   Even though it may still be cold and snowy we can feel the promise of warmer days.    In some places this is the time when preparation begins for the spring planting in March.  We think that nature sleeps all winter but really it just slows down, building strength for the growing season. Now it’s starting to speed up, opening up and out.

Candlemas is celebrated with fire, lit candles and bonfires, to symbolize the growing light and give warmth and courage through the last cold days.  It’s also a good time to clean and clear.  I like to do a really thorough spring cleaning in February, washing floors and walls, moving the furniture to clean underneath, scouring the oven and giving everything a really good airing.  It’s like a whole new beginning.

Coming home the other day I ran into some funny public art.  I’m not sure what it was about but it did cheer me up.  I only wish I could get farther away so you could see the whole thing at once.

I particularly like this group

I admit, I was starting to think that this winter would go by without any snow at all.  I know, it’s only mid-January but we’ve had so many days in the mid to upper 40’s that it just did not seem possible.  This is how my park looked yesterday:

But this morning when I woke I heard the distinctive sound of shovel on sidewalk.  I sat up in bed and sure enough it was snowing, really snowing.  We’ve got an estimated 4.6 inches on the ground.  I’m glad to see it though I know it will not stay.  It’s supposed to hit 52 degrees on Tuesday.  But until then, I will enjoy winter’s most beautiful gift.

Mention neti pots and you will usually get one of two reactions:

Love it!

or

No way!

I fall firmly into the first group.  I love, love, love my neti pot.  Particularly in the winter and when I have a cold.  I feel so clear after I use it, able to breathe freely.  I also love knowing that I’m clearing stuff out.  Living in NYC I breathe in a lot of stuff.  Pollen, car exhaust, and other things I’d rather not think about.  When I use my neti pot I wash away any yuck that has accumulated in my nasal passages so it doesn’t hang around causing trouble.

But it’s when I have a head cold that the neti really shows its worth.  Even before I became interested in alternative healing I wasn’t much of a medicine taker. But I did take decongestants when I had a cold.  I really hate lying there in bed, unable to breathe, unable to sleep.  So I took over the counter medicine.  Initially I would take multi-use items like Nyquil or Alka-Seltzer.  Eventually I realized that all I really needed was decongestants so I took those.  And they work, they do, but they left my nasal passages feeling like they’d been scoured and then blown dry.  Not comfortable.

Then my lovely sister introduced me to the neti pot.  Oh frabjous day!  If I use my neti pot in the morning and just before I go to bed at night I have no problem breathing and sleeping.  And unlike decongestants it moistens the nasal passages to it  does not hurt to breathe.  It also shortens the amount of time I spend with a runny nose and since I started using my neti daily I’ve gone from 2-3 colds a season to just 1.

When I talk to those who have rejected the neti it’s usually because they had a bad first experience.  They got water in their throat or the water burned their nose.  It does not have to be this way.  If you carefully follow the directions that come with your neti you will be fine.  Here are a few tips to help you have a good experience.

1. DO NOT use table salt.  This often contains anti-clumping agents that you do not want flowing through your nose. Use pure sea salt or Kosher salt.  I like fine sea salt because it dissolves easily and quickly.

2. Use the right amount of salt.  Often people experience burning because they added too little.  You want the solution to be the same as the salt content of your cells, in medicine they call it saline solution.  Use a solid 1/4 tsp of fine salt to 8 ounces of water.  If you use coarse salt you will need more than 1/4 tsp because there is more empty space between the grains.

3. Use warm water, a bit warmer than body temperature.  Avoid extreme temperatures, either hot or cold.

4. Bend over far enough.  You want your face to be parallel to the bottom of the sink.  If you get a bit of water in the back of your throat it means you need to bend further forward.

5. Do not add extra stuff, like essential oils, without thoroughly investigating.  Essential oils in particular can irritate the mucous membranes.

6. Keep your neti pot clean.  Wash it after you use it and don’t let water stand in it.  Also, if your tap water is not the best you may want to use distilled or boiled water.

7. Buy a beautiful neti that you will love looking at as well as using, like this one by Coryell Clayworks:

I encourage you to try it and don’t give up if the first time is not so comfortable.  It is totally worth the effort.